Human Life Is a Continuous Struggle With “The Self”



The oceanic “true mind” is as even as the surface of a mirror, but when external objects are reflected in it, it is like the wind blowing and waves arising on the great ocean, and then false mind appears. When we use the power of wisdom or discipline to fend off the enticements of the external world and keep them outside the mind, then the ocean of the great mind slowly quiets down again. That state without waves or ripples is the true mind.

我在《西夏的苍狼》里描写过一个叫做白轻衣的“女子”,她是一个差点被消解的幽灵。为什么她会差点被消解?因为大部分人都不相信灵魂的存在,这种怀疑无时无刻不在消解着她,最终,连她自己都开始怀疑自己。后来,黑歌手的出现挽救了她。这个过程,其实也发生在我们的内心世界。在欲望的奴役之下,我们不断用一种功利思想消解着自己的灵魂,也消解着内心趋向于神性的那些向往。我们不知道自己只能在那向往中实现一种相对的永恒,却一直在虚幻无常的外部世界寻找永恒。这种无知不断消解着我们寻获快乐的力量,幸好真心一直静静地待在心中那个若隐若现的地方。它是无始无终、不生不灭,不会因误解而消融,也不会被忽略而抹杀的。《金刚经》中说道:“无所从来,亦无所去,故名如来。”这如来,就是真心。

In my book The Wolves of Xi Xia, I described a “woman” called White Robe. She was a ghost who had almost been dispelled. Why had she almost been dispelled? Because most people do not believe in the existence of spirits, and this kind of doubt was constantly dispelling her, until in the end, even she began to doubt herself. Later, Hei Geshou’s appearance rescued her. This process in fact also occurs in the world of our inner minds. When we are slaves to desire, we constantly use a kind of utilitarian thinking to dispel our own spirits, and to dissolve away those yearnings of our inner minds to go toward the spiritual. We do not know that we can only realize a kind of relative eternity in those yearnings, but instead we keep on always seeking the eternal in the empty, illusory, impermanent external world. This kind of ignorance constantly dissolves away our power to find happiness; luckily the true mind is quietly waiting all along in that now hidden, now apparent place in our minds. It has no beginning and no end; it is not born and it is not extinguished. It will not be dissolved away because we misunderstand it, and it will not be obliterated because we overlook it. In the Diamond Sutra it says: “They come from nowhere and go nowhere, so they are called the Tathagatas, the ones who come from reality.” This Tathagata is the true mind.

虽然真心是本来具足的,但很多人都不能认知到它,不明真心的时候,妄心就会牵走你,你就又流于凡夫了。但有的时候,真心和妄心也会纠斗不休。真妄相攻的时候,你就仿佛变成了两个人,人格开始分裂,自己和另一个自己纠斗不休。

Although the true mind is fundamentally inherent, many people are not able to recognize it. When you are not clear about the true mind, then the false mind will drag you off, and you will become an ordinary person. But sometimes the true mind and the false mind will keep battling. When the true and false attack each other, it will seem that you have become two people, and your personality will begin to split, and you and the other you will keep fighting.

有部西方的动画电影曾经把这种“人格分裂”实体化,它们将“真心”人格化为天使,将“妄心”人格化为魔鬼,一旦受到某种外来的刺激,天使与魔鬼的对决便会在人的内心世界里一发不可收拾。这种比喻确实惟妙惟肖。佛家里面也常说“降魔”,但这个魔不是某种人格化或者动物化的魔鬼,正是蛊惑人心的妄念。妄念反映了人的欲望和偏见,它代表我们内心动物性的一面。它是一种能够以假乱真的幻觉,也是一种蒙眼布,它不愿让我们洞察事实的真相,因而时常匍匐在我们的耳边低语,扰乱我们的宁静,阻碍我们倾听真心的声音,尤其是在我们不明真心的时候。它指向的,往往是饿鬼般的贪婪、阿修罗般的嗔恨和畜生般的愚痴。如果不能明白真心,盲目听从妄念的指引,你就绝对无法抵达魂萦梦系的彼岸,更无法得到绝对的快乐与自由。因为,当你纠缠于妄念当中的时候,往往会把妄念当成了“他”,把自心当成了“我”。这时,你的心里就会出现一种强烈的二元对立,在这种对立当中,你会把自己与外部世界分得一清二楚,不管做什么事都要分个你我。我失去了啥,你得到了啥;本应属于我的东西,却被你夺走了;我付出了那么多,你却没有给我相应的回报……这些东西本都是虚幻的记忆,得也罢,失也罢,都是无常的现象,本质上是一个东西。但是当你因妄念而迷乱的时候,就会认假成真,把幻觉当成真实,做出种种愚痴的行为,这些行为导致了相应的业力。造了善因向上,造了恶因堕落,于是就出现了六道轮回。但即使在这个时候,真心仍然是不动不摇的。它就像扎根于磐石上的松树一样,枝虽摇动,根却咬住根本。当你安住于真心,明白所有一切都是梦幻泡影,瞬息万变,不值得在意的同时,轮回的幻象就会像艳阳下的露珠一样消失.

In Western animated films they have taken this kind of “split personality” and given it form: they take the “true mind” personality and make it into an angel, and take the “false mind” personality and make in into a devil. When they receive a certain external stimulus, the confrontation between the angel and the devil breaks out in the world of the person’s inner mind and cannot be resolved. This metaphor is really very true to life. In Buddhism we often talk about “conquering the demons,” but these demons are not some kind of demons in the form of humans or animals: they are the false thoughts that delude the human mind. False thoughts reflect human desires and biased perceptions, and represent an aspect of the animal nature of our inner minds. They are a kind of delusion that can use the false to confuse the real, and they are also a kind of blindfold. They do not want to let us see the real characteristic of things, and so they are constantly crawling around by our ears whispering, throwing our tranquility into confusion, and preventing us from listening to the voice of the true mind, especially when we are not clear about the true mind. What they point toward isusually the greedy desires of hungry ghosts, the anger and hatred of asuras, and the stupidity and ignorance of animals.

If you cannot clearly understand the true mind, and you blindly follow the direction of false thoughts, then there will be absolutely no way for you to reach that other shore of your dreams, and no way to reach absolute happiness and freedom. This is because, when you are tangled up in false thoughts, you always take those false thoughts as “the other” and your own mind as “myself.” Then a strong dualism will appear in your mind, and in this dualism, you will make a clear division between yourself and the external world, and no matter what you do, you will always have to separate “you” and “I.” I lose something, you gain something. Originally it should belong to my things, but you took it away. I spent so much, but you did not give me the corresponding return. … These things are all fundamentally empty illusory memories, no matter whether you gained or you lost; they are all impermanent apparent forms, and in basic substance they are one thing. But when you are lost in confusion due to false thoughts, then you will mistake the false for the true, and take illusory perception as true reality, and do all kinds of stupid things, and these actions will bring on the corresponding karmic force. If you build a good causal basis, you go up, and if you build an evil causal basis, you go down – thus you revolve in the six planes of existence. But even then, the true mind is still unmoved and unshaken. It is like a pine tree rooted in bedrock: though the branches may shake, the trunk is still firmly rooted. When you abide in peace in the true mind, you understand that all things are dreams, illusions, bubbles, undergoing myriad changes every instant, not worth being concerned with – then illusory forms melt away like dewdrops in the blazing sun.

所以说,妄念非常可怕,它会让你远离爱与智慧,执著于虚幻的个人得失,将各种简单的事情复杂化;它还会让你沉浸在莫名其妙的情绪里,浪费大量的生命时光,用误解粉碎你的幸福与快乐,甚至让你陷入虚幻的痛苦当中,觉得人生无力为继。只有认知真心、安住于真心,你才能摆脱妄心的蒙骗和左右,窥破所有假象,直抵最质朴简单的真相。

Thus we say that illusory thoughts are very much to be feared. They can take you far away from love and wisdom, and make you cling to empty illusory individual gain and loss, and take simple things and make them complicated. They can also make you sink down into inexplicable emotions, and make you waste a lot of the time you have alive. They use misunderstanding to shatter your good fortune and happiness, and even make you descend into empty illusory pain and suffering, so you feel that you have no strength to go on living. Only when you recognize the true mind, and abide in peace in the true mind, will you be able to get free of the deceptions and control of the false mind, and see through all false appearances, and directly reach the most plain and simple true characteristic.

见到真心、认知真心、忆持真心、保任真心,这就是佛家中所说的“开悟”。开悟之后,妄心还是存在的。就像大海上出现了一个波浪,不再水平如镜了。大海的“真心”平如镜面,但外界影响它的时候,比如刮风之类的,大海就起了波浪,这时妄心就出现了。当我们用智慧或戒的力量把外界的诱惑拒于心外的时候,心的大海就慢慢平息下来了。无波无纹的那种状态就是真心。心波动便生妄念,妄念止息便显出真心。比如,这个念头和下一个念头中间,有一个无念状态,当你用你的自性或警觉心观照它时,你就很容易契入真心。

To see the true mind, to recognize the true mind, to focus on the true mind, to preserve awareness of the true mind – this is what in Buddhism we call “becoming enlightened.” After you become enlightened, the false mind still exists. It is like when a wave appears in the ocean, and the surface of the water is no longer flat as a mirror. The oceanic “true mind” is as even as the surface of a mirror, but when external objects are reflected in it, it is like the wind blowing and waves arising on the great ocean, and then false mind appears. When we use the power of wisdom or discipline to fend off the enticements of the external world and keep them outside the mind, then the ocean of the great mind slowly quiets down again. That state without waves or ripples is the true mind. When waves move in the mind, then the false thoughts are born. When false thoughts stop, then the true mind is revealed. For example, between this thought and the next thought, there is a state without thoughts. When you use your inherent nature or your mind of lucid awareness to observe it, then it is very easy for you to merge with true mind.

明心之后,你只要守住这个真心,便是最好的修。这时候,要远离分别心,别叫那些概念弄乱了你的心。佛家修行的含义就是修“真心”——让你本有的智慧燎原成智慧之火,把你的贪、嗔、痴、慢、疑全部烧掉,最后只剩下一片光明。这时候,你才算究竟成就。什么是究竟成就,就是这个世界上的一切,都不能动摇你的宁静与快乐,都不能让你成为它的奴隶。换句话说,究竟成就的时候,你就拥有了一种绝对的自由与快乐。

After you are clear about the mind, all you have to do is preserve this true mind – that is the best cultivation. At this time, you must stay far away from the discriminating mind, and not let those concepts throw your mind into confusion. Cultivating practice in Buddhism implies cultivating the “true mind” – letting your inherent spark of wisdom that can ignite a prairie fire become the flame of wisdom, and burn away all your greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt, until in the end all that is left is a single expanse of clear light. At this point you can finally be reckoned as having reached the ultimate achievement. What is the ultimate achievement? It is that nothing in this world can shake your tranquility and joy, and nothing can make you its slave. In other words, when you reach the ultimate achievement, you will have an absolute freedom and happiness.

那么,怎样才能见到真心呢?老祖宗们留下了许多方便法门。比如,诵经敲木鱼就是为了定心,用一种节奏和韵律来消解妄念。当妄念消融,达到一种极致的宁静时,你就会见到真心。佛家中的八万四千法门,无不是为了让人能够找到这个真心。选用哪一种,要看哪种方法跟你最为对机。

So then, how will you be able to see the true mind? The classic schools of Buddhism left us many expedient methods. For example, chanting the sutras and beating time on a wooden fish are to stabilize the mind, using cadence and rhythm to dissolve away false thoughts. When false thoughts dissolve, and you reach a kind of ultimate tranquility, then you will see the true mind. The eight-four thousand teaching methods in Buddhism are all for the purpose of enabling people to find this true mind. To choose which method to use, you must see which method is the most appropriate for you.

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