True happiness is in fact very simple: it is the light in your mind. Perhaps you feel this to be inconceivable, but things are always this simple, aren’t they? Those most beautiful tulips in the world, which you traveled all over the world looking for, are actually in full bloom in your own garden. Too bad if you never discovered them.
除了爱情,世上最容易被人误解的词汇,恐怕就是快乐。很多以为自己懂得快乐的人,其实并不明白什么才是真正的快乐,他们总是把欲望满足时产生的快感,当做真正的快乐。比如,他们总认为,拥有的越多,人就会越快乐;名声越好,人就会越快乐。简言之,他们心目中的快乐,是必须建立在一定的物质条件上的。显然,这是一种很不牢靠的快乐。
Apart from “love,” the word that is the easiest for people in the world to misunderstand is probably “happiness.” Many people who think they understand happiness in fact do not understand what true happiness is. They generally take the feeling that is produced when desires are satisfied to be true happiness. For example, they generally think that the more a person has, the happier that person will be, and the more famous a person is, the happier that person will be. Simply put, happiness in their view must be based on certain material conditions. Obviously this is a very unreliable happiness.
因为,为了创造滋长“快乐”的条件,很多人不得不疲于奔命地追求一些外在的东西,他们中的一些人不断地获得,一些人不断地失去,一些人还在了无结果的追逐中,但谁也找不到真正的快乐:不断获得的人,得到的不是他们真正想要的东西,而是一些无常的外物与更加无常的快感,因此,接踵而来的,必然是期待与现实不符所造成的失落;不断失去的人,以为他们只有获得才能得到快乐,但偏偏又不能如愿,于是他们也陷入巨大的失落;了无结果地追逐着的人,在追逐的过程中,甚至忘记了自己到底在寻找什么,他们只能跟随自己昨天的足迹,一步又一步盲目地走下去,离真正的快乐越来越远……其实,得到未必不能快乐,失去也未必不能快乐,在路上的人更加未必不能快乐。
This is because, to develop the conditions that foster “happiness,” many people inevitably exhaust themselves spending their lives seeking external things. Among these people, some are constantly gaining, and some are constantly losing, and some are still seeking without results, but none of them can find true happiness. With those who are constantly gaining, what they gain are not the things they really want, but rather some impermanent external things and even more impermanent happy feelings. Thus, what comes in quick succession is inevitably the loss created when expectation and reality do not match. People who are constantly losing think that if only they would get something, then they would be able to achieve happiness, but they still cannot get things to go as they wish, and so they fall into a great sense of loss. People who pursue things without any results, while in the process of pursuing them, even forget what ultimately they are looking for. All they can do is follow their own footsteps from yesterday, and keep on going ahead blindly step by step, getting farther and farther away from true happiness. … In fact, people are not necessarily able to be happy by gaining things, and are not necessarily able to be happy by losing things, and people on the road may be even more unable to be happy.
那么,到底什么才是真正的快乐呢?在我回答你的这个问题之前,恐怕你必须先对自己的心态做一个小小的调整,否则,你就未必能明白我说的话。你看,假如我对你说,真正的快乐仅仅是心灵的一种感受,你能明白这句话的全部意思吗?你能感受到一种灵魂的清凉吗?未必吧。因为,这是一种你或许并不熟悉,甚至从未接触过的价值观,它跟我一样,来自西部那块深沉厚重的黄土地,它跟现代人那种被物质填满的骄傲且偏执的心态,是截然不同的。所以,请你先试着把那些关于楼房、小车、工资、股票,甚至老婆、孩子等东西的理想模型都统统忘掉,至少暂时屏蔽掉它们。只有这样,你才能放下防备,进入我所描绘的那个“世界”……
So then, in the end, what is true happiness? Before I answer this question of yours, probably you must first make a slight adjustment to your state of mind. Otherwise, you may not be able to understand what I say. Look and see. If I say to you that true happiness is just a feeling of the mind and spirit, will you be able to understand the full meaning of this statement? Will you be able to experience this kind of purity of the spirit? Maybe not. This is because this is a value you may not have thoroughly understood, or you may never have experienced. It is like me: it comes from that deep yellow earth of the Western Regions. It is absolutely different from that attitude of materialistic pride and biased clingings of contemporary people. So please first try to completely forget about those ideal models related to apartment buildings and cars and salaries and stock shares and even wives and children and all such things, and at least for a short time screen them out. Only if you do this, can you let down your defenses, and enter into the “world” which I am going to describe.
我总是说,我不想改变世界,我想改变的只有我自己;我不想照亮世界,我想照亮的只有我自己;我不想用文学来让这个世界听我说话,也不想用写作来宣扬一些什么东西,我只不过是在文字世界里跟自己聊天而已。我修行的所有目的,也是为了让自己得到绝对的自由与快乐,仅此而已。
I always say, I do not want to change the world: what I want to change is just myself. I do not want to illuminate the world: what I want to illuminate is just myself. I do not want to use literature to make the whole world hear me talking, and I do not want to use my writings to broadcast anything. I am just having a chat between the literary world and me. All the goals of my cultivating practice are to let myself achieve absolute independence and happiness, just this, that’s all.
“凑巧”的是,这个世界上有太多与我有着相同需要的人,他们也在追求这种自由与快乐——毕竟,追求爱与自由,本就是人类的天性和本能——既然我比他们更早实现了它,就应该把方法和我走过的路都贡献出来。因此,我在所有的作品里面都说了许多人们未必能听懂,也未必有那耐心去听的话,但它们都是我心里的话。我相信,那些跟我有着同样频率的人,看到它们之后,总能会心一笑的,或许它们仅仅能带给这些朋友一份好心情、一点小感悟,这也很好。不过,有的朋友和学生们告诉我,我真心流露的这些话,甚至让他们重新拾回了生命的勇气、梦想和爱,让他们拥有了一种改变庸碌人生的力量。这很好。不过,它对我来说,倒并不是一件多么意外的事情,因为,我也是这样走过来的,其间的种种我都懂。
As luck would have it, there are many people in this world who have the same needs as me – they too are seeking this kind of independence and happiness. Ultimately, seeking love and freedom is basically the inherent nature of humans. Since I realized this before them, I must take expedient means and the road I have traveled and offer it to them. For this reason, in all my written works I say things which many people may not be able to understand, and which they may not have the patience to listen to, but these are all the words in my mind. I believe that after they read these words, those people who are on the same frequency as me will all be able to smile. Perhaps these words will only be able to bring these friends a good state of mind, or a bit of awakening, and this too is good. Then too, some friends and students have told me that these words which my true mind has revealed have even let them restore their courage for living, their dreams and their love, and have let them have the strength to transform their ordinary lives. This is very good. However, for me, this is definitely not such an unexpected thing, because I too have traveled along a journey like this, and I understand everything in it.
虽然我一直是现在的这个样子:留着一把大胡子,穿着一件红色方格的长袖衣、一条淡蓝色的牛仔裤,总是没事偷着乐,总是逍遥自在,旁若无人。但我也经历过一段灵魂追索的旅程,这一点,与所有寻觅快乐而不可得的孩子们没啥不同。所以,我真的懂他们,或许我也真的懂你。
Although I have looked this way all along – having a beard, wearing a robe with long red sleeves, wearing pale blue loose-fitting trousers, being unconcerned and happy, always free and at ease, as if nobody is around – I have also gone through a journey of spiritual searching. On this point, this is no different than all those children seeking happiness and not being able to find it. Thus, I really understand them, and perhaps I also really understand you.
你低头走着你的夜路,时而思量过去的许多事情,时而盘算未来的许多期望。你觉不出明月的存在。尤其在你走进树林或高楼大厦的遮挡之时,更觉得自己被无穷无尽的黑暗吞没了,四处是摇曳而诡秘的影子。你的心里因而充满了孤独、苍凉与恐慌。但是,一旦你止息了无穷无尽的念想,抬起头,望向深邃的夜空,你就会发现,不知道从什么时候开始,这夜幕中,竟然有一轮皎洁的明月在陪伴着你。它宁静无语,却仿佛在静中透出温柔的笑来,这抹笑渗入你的心中,荡起一波温水似的情绪,你怪怪地觉出了万籁俱寂的夜之美妙。夜幕里跋涉着的你,从此变得不再孤独了,明月的笑充盈了你的心灵,使这路途也变得格外地具有诗意。
You keep your head down and travel your night road, sometimes thinking about many things from the past, sometimes thinking about many hopes for the future. You cannot discern the existence of the bright moon. Especially when you go into the shade of a forest or of the high-rise buildings, you feel even more that you have been swallowed up by the endless infinite darkness. All around you are flickering secretive shadows, and so your mind is filled with loneliness, desolation, and fear. But once you put a stop to your endless thoughts, and lift up your head, and gaze into the depths of the night sky, then you discover, not knowing where it started, that in this backdrop of night, ultimately there is a clear bright moon accompanying you. It is tranquil and silent, but it is as if a warm laugh has come forth from the silence, and this laughter soaks into your mind, and stirs up a feeling like a wave of warm water, and surprisingly you become aware of the beauty and wonder of the night where everything is silent. And from this, you change, as you trudge through the darkness of night, and you are no longer alone, and the bright moon’s laughter fills your mind and spirit, and makes the journey itself change into something exceptionally poetic.
我写过一首打油诗,目的是消解一些人对我的“神化”,但它也表白了我的心:“雪漠是个驴,低头走夜路。偶尔抬起头,看到天边月。求慧也无慧,求智也无智。只是心有光,从此不戚戚。”是的,明白的我,只是那头心中有光的驴子。
I wrote a bit of doggerel: the purpose was to dispel the way some people were “deifying” me, and it also expressed my mind: “Xue Mo is a donkey, traveling the road with his head down. When he happens to lift his head, he sees the moon in the sky. Seeking wisdom without wisdom, seeking knowledge without knowledge. It’s just that the mind has light, and because of this he is not sad.” This is right. When I understand, I am just that donkey with a light in his mind.
真正的快乐,其实很简单,它就是你心中的光。或许你会觉得不可思议,但事情往往就是这么简单,不是吗?你走遍天涯海角去寻找的那支世界上最美丽的郁金香,原来正盛开在自家的花园里,可惜你一直没有发现。当你像过去的我那样,“偶尔抬起头”,看到心中那轮静寂而有诗意的月亮,你就会慢慢走出漫长的黑夜,从此不戚戚。
True happiness is in fact very simple: it is the light in your mind. Perhaps you feel this to be inconceivable, but things are always this simple, aren’t they? Those most beautiful tulips in the world, which you traveled all over the world looking for, are actually in full bloom in your own garden. Too bad if you never discovered them. When you are the way I was in the past, if you “happen to lift your head,” you will see that pure, still, poetic moonlight in your mind. Then you will slowly come out of that long dark night, and from then on you will not be sad.